Rafiki

So how's that free time thing treating you? Bored? Miss the company? Reconnect with all those facebook friends! We are livin' in the age where it doesn't matter if you haven't spoken to someone in years, you have them on facebook! Honestly though this may be the time you start to do your strutting as you need to feel like tiger in prime. Whatever that means, you really need to feel powerful and sexy right now for self esteem purposes. And if you aren't normally a flirt or haven't really looked into it as you were too tied up with someone, take the time to observe how powerful women can be. I mean seriously, we can control the penis without touching it!!! We can wink and hello! I was eating cereal once and my man popped a boner so have some confidence girl in the fact that you may not be experienced but even the most subtle moves give you power.

About this confidence bit. It is the most noticeable quality you have and if you really want to get any where in life, you really have to love yourself, every last bit of it. I could go on about how it doesn't matter what size you are blah blah blah but confidence is more than body image. You need to like the girl in you who wears head bands and studded collars and reads 500 books a year. This is also where that hobby bit comes in. If you have something you are good at, it gives you something to show off and prove and talk about. Also having a good close knit group of friends helps as we are constantly encouraging each other (and secretly thinking we are better than each other).

Back to strutting. Get dressed up and go shopping. I mean put on the make up, mini skirt and heels this is going to be an epic trip to Safeway! I know what you're thinking, “Who wears that to Safeway? I make fun of those girls who feel they need to dress up like that all the time!” Pfffft, this isn't all the time, this is because you feel like it and want some attention even if it's non verbal and from everyone who sees you. Plus no matter what that girl's boyfriend looks like you caught his attention. Now ladies don't freak out, this guy isn't thinking of cheating on his girl friend (at least we hope not but we don't really care either way), he just noticed a woman that he otherwise would not have turned his gaze for necessarily. It's like being the baboon with the bluest ass, everyone looks and admires. 

Wine and Roses

         Sky scrapers and billboards decorate the Manhattan sky as a camera pans over the city. In a not so quaint bar four friends feed the voids in their lives with anecdotes and cosmos. In the end they have each other...and really nice shoes, six digit incomes and fame. Oh did I mention really really rich friends? If singledom were fabulous we would all be single but let's face it, most of us have to work to eat and keep a roof over our heads and that is significantly harder without a partner in crime. Not to mention the world seems to want us to pair up and procreate. That being said we the female race inevitably gravitate back to the dating scene in a desperate search of something that will take care of us and possibly buy us those cute, sparkly  four inch stilettos!

I suppose I am writing this out to prove that it is possible to be single and happy, but also to give an insight on how to evade the grasp of societies structured hand and how to manipulate your way through life as it is tough as single independent woman. I should mention that I have been single for two and half years now and I should probably define my term of single before the lot of you think I am some crazy cat lady who doesn't leave the house. Now I am not saying I don't date, have sex or cuddle. I am just saying I have no commitments and enjoy my own company. I don't plan on being single for ever but I don't believe in a biological clock or that I should have to settle. I am a cool person, I like my company. That is the key first step after a break up or whatever it is that makes you not want to be with someone, so grab that sexy ass of yours and doll it up for a stroll down somewhere densely populated with the male species!

Ok maybe we should slow down here. You probably need to cry and eat chocolate ice cream with some girlies. Maybe watch a violent film and get back to that hobby you had before you devoted the majority of your spare time to that someone. Seriously just find something because you are incredibly boring and one dimensional otherwise and my friends this is not good for self esteem. Take the opportunity to discover who you are, especially if you are a serial dater and have been in commitments for the majority of your adult life. I hate how people say it's like learning to ride a bike. If that were true where are my training wheels, knee pads and helmet? I would say it's more like failed suicide where you throw yourself off a cliff into a jungle heels and all. You don't really expect to survive but there's no going back either. Keep it that way toots!

So now your eyes are almost back to their non puffy selves and your friends and family are no longer up your ass about what happened and yada yada. Time to head to the LC to get some wine and pick up some flowers along the way. Get rid of that novelty of flowers. Seriously they are just over priced dying plants that look pretty and smell nice sometimes. If you can justify buying diamonds for yourself, pick up some flowers, same thing. It's the little things you do for yourself that make you realize how awesome you are and that your place looks really nice! The wine may have something to do with that too but hey, you got a bottle of wine that doesn't have to be shared.